The Dark Knight Rises

I wish he hadn't.

I would rather Nolan's Batman ran wounded into the night after defeating The Joker and Harvey Dent -- never to be seen again --  than end a brilliant superhero series this way. Hell, I would have preferred seeing Bruce Wayne die in The Dark Knight rather than be involved in this piece of shit movie.

Motherfucking Hollywood ruined what should have been a great trilogy.

This isn't the rant of a fanboy gone bad. (Although the morphing of DC characters Dick Grayson and Tim Drake into John Blake, an as-yet-unheard-of character created for the flick, should piss off everyone who loves Batman comics.) Nope, this rant is based on one simple fact: The Dark Knight Rises is a really bad movie.

The movie is bloated with unnecessary imagery, cliched dialogue, and plot twists that are predictable and poorly explained. Why must Bruce Wayne use a cane to walk? Why does he have no cartilage in his knee, if he hasn't suited up as Batman since fighting Dent eight years earlier? Nolan may know, but he doesn't tell the audience. Instead, the director uses the film to reflect on the two previous installments; the technique doesn't advance the movie, it causes the movie to drag.

Roger Ebert and others have commented that the second half of The Dark Knight Rises is superb. And I agree, to some extent. Still, the conclusion is wrapped up too neatly, and the multiple plots are resolved in too hurried a fashion.

But, the real reason I didn't care for the second half?

The god damned first half put me to sleep.