Call Me By Your Name

I didn't know anyone who was openly gay during the early 1980s, when I was growing up in central West Virginia.

Sure, I know now that some of my friends and classmates were gay. But back then -- in 1983, the year I graduated from high school and the year during which Call Me By Your Name takes place -- the idea that a classmate might be attracted to someone of the same sex was completely foreign to those of us who were straight. At least it was to me.

It wasn't that I was homophobic. I simply wasn't aware. 

I went about my life like most teens do: I spent time trying to figure out how to flirt with someone I liked; I retreated to my room to practice how I'd speak to, or act around, someone I wanted to impress; I experimented with sex and sexuality; and, I fell in love for the first time. 

I, and many of my friends, fell hard in love more than once. 

Its occurred to me, in adulthood, how lonely my closeted gay friends might have been in 1983, in that small town of less than 2,000 citizens. Not only because they had fewer romantic options and lived in a community that didn't consider their needs. But because most didn't get to experience as teens all those first-time events that help shape who we eventually become. 

And this was my greatest take-away from Call Me By Your Name. This is a coming-of-age film; the story of a young man exploring his sexuality, navigating the throes of first-time love, and using the lessons learned from that struggle to grow and mature.

It just so happens his first-time love is another male. 

Timothée Chalamet is remarkable as Elio, the teen who's trying to figure it all out. Watching Chalamet portray his character as confident and sexy while with his girlfriend, but insecure and sensual with Oliver, with whom he's fallen deeply in love, is like observing a rare masterpiece in an art museum.

It's so beautiful to watch that it feels like a privilege. 

What excites me most about Call Me By Your Name is that it's a coming-of-age romance any adult can understand. We've all been there at some point in our lives, whether we loved someone of the same or of the opposite sex. It should inspire and give hope to all of us, regardless of who we love.

Growing into adulthood is a tough path for anyone. But it's especially so for people who feel disenfranchised. The generation coming to age in the 1980s might have benefited by fewer Porky's flicks and more movies like Call Me By Your Name.