The X-Files: I Want To Believe

My take on The X-Files: I Want To Believe was gonna be: [cue cymbals from the series theme]


Whoo-whee-whoo-whoo-whhhiii-whoo
Whoo-whee-whoo-whoo-whhhii-THUD

But the dead goose effect didn't seem to really work in print.


Then I talked to my friend, Hoyt about the flick. Coming off his back-to-back viewing of The Dark Knight and X-Files, I wanted to know his thoughts. And as usual, Hoyt was able to put it all into perspective. Here's his guest review:

I love Ritz crackers.

And watching the X-Files sequel was like eating a plate full of Ritz crackers after not having anything to eat all day. It's very satisfying, and every bit as good as I would have expected.

No, it's not a full course steak dinner with a baked potato and peanut butter chocolate ice cream for dessert like Batman is. But I enjoyed the X-Files because I finally got to see my favorites like Mulder and Scully (and maybe another someone, too) for the first time in years.

That, my friends, is why he's The Man.

Yet Another Reason I'm Glad I Blog Anonymously

I'm not admittin' to anything, mind you.

I'm just sayin'...

Please, Make It Stop: Part 15

Being pampered just hit mega-drive.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. -- Ready for the latest in spa pampering? Prepare to dunk your tootsies in a tank of water and let tiny carp nibble away.

Fish pedicures are creating something of a splash in the D.C. area, where a northern Virginia spa has been offering them for the past four months. John Ho, who runs the Yvonne Hair and Nails salon with his wife, Yvonne Le, said 5,000 people have taken the plunge so far.

"This is a good treatment for everyone who likes to have nice feet," Ho said.

He said he wanted to come up with something unique while finding a replacement for pedicures that use razors to scrape off dead skin. The razors have fallen out of favor with state regulators because of concerns about whether they're sanitary.

Ho was skeptical at first about the fish, which are called garra rufa but typically known as doctor fish. They were first used in Turkey and have become popular in some Asian countries.

"I know people were a little intimidated at first," Ho said. "But I just said, 'Let's give it a shot.' "

First time customer KaNin Reese, 32, of Washington, described the tingling sensation created by the toothless fish: "It kind of feels like your foot's asleep," she said.

The fish don't do the job alone. After 15 to 30 minutes in the tank, customers get a standard pedicure, made easier by the soft skin the doctor fish leave behind.

Ho believes his is the only salon in the country to offer the treatment, which costs $35 for 15 minutes and $50 for 30 minutes. The spa has more than 1,000 fish, with about 100 in each individual pedicure tank at any given time.

Customer Patsy Fisher, 42, of Crofton, Md., admitted she was nervous as she prepared for her first fish pedicure. But her apprehension dissolved into laughter after she put her feet in the tank and the fish swarmed to her toes.

"It's a little ticklish, actually," she said.

Amazing Grace

My second grade year at Zela Elementary was an important one for me. It was the first time I saw a lot of kids paddled in front of the class--"You're in second grade, now. You should know better than that. Now, bend over for three swats!"--which greatly influenced my behavior by making me realize I had better be really good at hiding my misdeeds.

It was the year I first began to appreciate diversity, becoming aware that not all the students in the class were like me in terms of culture, beliefs and perspective. And second grade was important to me because it was the first time a teacher would allow us free time to stand up in front of the class and perform in some way.

We did it regularly, and it was enjoyable. It also helped boost my self-confidence.

"Sing Amazing Grace," my classmate Conard would request, when my turn came to march to the front. And I would. Once in a while I'd mix things up with "The Old Rugged Cross" or John Denver's "Country Roads," but most of the time I stuck to the old standard I knew really well from church.

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav’d a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

As a kid I always found it odd that one would experience "grace" as a sound. Later in my adult years, I realized that John Newton was really writing about a very holistic experience: he describes the grace he experienced in several sensory-based ways throughout the song, using words like "sweet," "sound," "lost," blind" "fear" and "see."

He threw the whole kit-and-caboodle in terms of human experience into the song in order to demonstrate the completeness of his conversion.

I belted out "Amazing Grace" during those second grade talent periods with passion and conviction, just like I'd heard the song sung in church. It seemed to move Conard; he'd sometimes mosey up to me before we loaded onto the bus home and mention how he really liked the song, and that I sang it well. (Conard always whispered this quietly to me, or waited until no one was around before he brought it up. Even then, he realized the ass-beating that would come if an 8-year-old boy showed too much emotion.)

In my teen years, I arrived at the conclusion that "grace" is something one can experience without a supernatural deity gifting it upon us. While attending a .38 Special / ZZ Top concert in 1983, during the song Tube Snake Boogie, I felt the same feeling of "grace" that I'd experienced in church, and during those second grade class performances.

Surely, I thought, God wouldn't bestow the same feelings upon me during this classic rock song as he did upon me when I'm worshipping him through hymn.

It was soon after that I began to realize that, for me, "grace" is from within. It comes from the way I experience life, and the way I interact with others. "Grace" is in the small moments of life as much as in those efforts most dramatic, and exists there for us to experience if we pay attention. It's there when we teach our children, when we notice a beautiful flower, when we take an extra moment to show appreciation and when we work to help improve the lot and life of others.

And yeah, it's even there when we hear and appreciate a thinly-veiled song about getting it on with some chick on the hill.

Amazing Grace, starring Ioan Gruffudd as British parliamentarian William Wilberforce (a champion of the movement to abolish slavery), demonstrates "grace" in the same way I've experienced it during my lifetime. It's true that Wilberforce was devoutly Christian, and by all accounts a true evangelical. But as the movie depicts the man, Wilberforce recognized that one's life can be improved greatly by working to improve the lives of others.

The movie shows the lifelong effort Wilberforce made to convince his country to outlaw slavery, how he carried out his effort with conviction and persistence. and how his actions improved who he was as a man and a citizen.

Amazing Grace is an interesting bio-pic about a man I didn't know anything about, even though it's not a great movie.

But it was good enough: it was the first period piece I didn't sleep through in years.

The Jacknut Chronicles' Sunday Edition: Jacknutty Priorities

From The Salt Lake Tribune:

"A man police say left his 2-year-old son in his car to watch a midnight showing of The Dark Knight was charged Tuesday with child abuse.

David Farnham, 23, was charged with the class A misdemeanor in 3rd District Court. Police say he left his two-year-old son in his parked car Saturday night at the Century 16 Theaters, 125 E. 3300 South in South Salt Lake. After a movie patron called police, officers found the toddler around 1:30 a.m. on Sunday sitting in his car seat, crying and sweating, according to court documents.

Farnham, of Salt Lake City, left the child in the car with the windows rolled up "so the child could not be taken out," according to a jail booking statement. The temperature inside the vehicle was 87 degrees, the statement said. Police stopped the movie showing to arrest Farnham, who told police that he left his son in the car for more than two hours while he watched a movie because Justin was asleep, according to court documents. Farnham is being held at the Salt Lake County Metro Jail on $20,000 bail.

The toddler, who was thirsty but reported in good condition, was released to his mother, said detective Gary Keller, of the South Salt Lake Police Department."

Mighty Big Expectations

Watchmen, the 2009 film based on the Alan Moore / Dave Gibbons masterpiece, is getting a lot of buzz. A lot of buzz.

Hell, I've written about it twice this week!

Some of the strongest reactions are coming from regional comic conventions, like the Comic Con in San Diego, California. Take this blurb from USAToday:

“I came here only for this; everything else was just icing,” says William Strong, 27, who drove with three buddies to San Diego from Austin for their first Comic-Con. “Keep your Batman and Spider-Man and Iron Man. This is the only comic-book movie a lot of us have been waiting for.”

That talk both inspires and terrifies director Zack Snyder.

“People love that book like the bible,” he says. “I’m honored to be doing the movie, but I also hope people [understand] that it’s just that. A movie. It won’t be exactly the book. I hope they give us the benefit of the doubt. Or I’ll be making romantic comedies the rest of my life.”

Uh oh...

Confessions Of A Carny

Only after the first Ring Toss contestant threw the 4 rings she got for $5 did Leon realize he'd forgotten to "plant the stake."

Aw, shucks. I'm just joshing. The World's Strongest Man contest is a-comin' to Charleston.

My Top 5: Reasons I Wanted To Believe

I loved The X-Files. For all the reasons you did, and more. My ass was in the seat every Friday (and later, Sunday) night, tuned in to that show on the fledgling Fox station.

Here's My Top 5: Reasons I Wanted To Believe.

My massive crush on Gillian Anderson, which grew only stronger each week while watching Skully cling to her skepticism while facing aliens, and staring down inbred freaks hidden under the bed. It was just. so. cute.

The Cigarette Smoking Man.

My wife's massive crush on David Duchovny, which grew stronger each week as he strutted through scenes with an air of confidence and coolness I had only for a three-week period during the summer of '82.

The cool I Want To Believe poster that hung in Mulder's office. I tried once to find one on-line as a Valentine's gift for my wife. I couldn't find the exact one. I think I got her an envelope opener instead. (What?!? It was a brass envelope opener, motherfucker!)

The Lone Gunmen. Now, this was a club I could belong to. Maybe even be the President of.

The complex, inter-woven plot lines and conspiracies. It was Lost before Lost was cool.

(Oops, that's 6 reasons! See what I mean? It was a great, great show!)

The X-Files: I Want To Believe opens this Friday, ten years after the release of the first X-Files flick, and six years after the TV series went belly-up.

My Top 5 Reasons To See The New Flick?

Sadly, I can't think of even one... I may be over this one.

It's Uncanny

45 years, and 500 issues.

Damn..., where did the time go? I remember reading issues in the double digits under the pine tree in back of my house.

Happy birthday, today, X-Men. Penny for penny, you may have been the best entertainment value I ever had.

The Kingdom

After a horrifying terrorist attack on a community of Americans living in Saudi Arabia (which results in the death of a federal agent), FBI special agents beg, bribe and blackmail their way into the country in order to find those responsible for the killing.


Led by Ronald Fluery (Jamie Foxx), the group of four Americans are taken through the kingdom by Colonel Faris Al Ghazi, a native who is sympathetic to the American mission, but realistic about the political implications.

The Kingdom, directed by the increasingly impressive Peter Berg, is an old-fashioned action/thriller set amid modern political dynamics. The good guys are clearly good guys, and the bad guys are obvious as well.

While most of the characters are stereotypes--Chris Cooper plays a Southern-born forensic expert who likes to sneak up on people Matlock-style-- the stereotypes aren't offensive, or even annoying. The Kingdom is a fast-paced adventure that plays out to a very satisfying finale.

Although there are some subtle political messages throughout the film, it's the final statement before closing credits that's the most urgent, and the most powerful. Watch the scene, and think about it.