The Haiku No One Else Will Get

Bionic Bigfoot:
Where have you gone, my old friend?
Please comment some more.

The Simpsons Movie

Now that I've stopped laughing, I've started thinking about The Simpsons Movie.

Here is My Top Five: Ways I'm Similar To Homer Simpson

1. Homer's pear-shaped body was forged by beer. The Film Geek's pear-shaped body was forged by laziness. And beer.

2. Homer has three children, each smarter than their father. The Film Geek has three children, each smart enough to know they should pretend to be dumber than their father.


3. MMMMMMM....donuts.

2. Homer has a good heart and wants to do the right thing, even though he's too self absorbed to pay attention to the needs of others. The Film Geek...I'm sorry, what were you saying?


1. "Well, sometimes you have to stand back to appreciate a work of art." ~ Marge Simpson / Mrs. Film Geek on their husbands-in-progress

Whatever Happened To...Joanna Cameron

I never knew what "zepher" was, as in the phrase: "Oh zephyr winds which blow on high, lift me now so I can fly."

And I didn't care.

What I did know, and did care about, was that Joanna Cameron was speaking the line.

You know. Isis.

The better half of the CBS team-up of The Secrets Of Isis and Shazam! aired from 1975 to 1977, and followed the adventures of a high school science teacher who could become a super hero. Cameron's character, Andrea Thomas, discovered a magical amulet that grants her the powers of super strength, the ability to fly, blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda.


Whatever...

Have you seen the picture of this woman!?!

I didn't care what the hell her powers were. Just put on the cute white skirt, Isis, and stay on camera as long as you possibly can.

Isis ended in the Fall of '77. Cameron went on to do some TV guest spots, and starred in and directed some movie shorts for the Navy.

And I spent a lot more time outside on Saturdays...

All The Good Protests Occur Where I'm Not

Dear Charles:

I thought your offer to provide a "pictures of downtown Charleston" section to your typically issues-oriented blog, The Charlestonian, was a terrific idea. It's a wonderful way to promote the city which, as you point out on your blog, has it's share of "quirks, oddities and absurdities."

Plus, Charleston gets all the good protests!

I hope you'll consider adding this photo to your new picture section. And if not, I'll keep a copy for myself. You know, just as a reminder why it's A-OK with me for the Mayor to double the user fee in order to work downtown.

Sincerely,

The Film Geek

( photo by Kenny Kemp)

Blogging As Therapy

While winding through the small, one-lane country road that leads to the home of my son's baby-sitter this morning, I accidentally hit and killed a young rabbit with my car. It shot across the road really fast, trying to get from one large yard on my left to another large yard on my right, I suppose.


I was paying attention, and not speeding.

I swear.

But I couldn't stop the car fast enough, and ran over the rabbit.



The event was slightly disturbing for me, especially considering that I got out of the car to see if I could save the rabbit, and witnessed the last few seconds of life leaving it's body.

It was even more traumatic because of the memory that it resurrected.

A kid growing up on a farm in the mountains of central West Virginia can't help but get close to nature on an almost daily basis. And part of getting close to nature, especially in deep Appalachian Mountain culture, involves hunting. I did my fair share of hunting, with my Dad and also by myself when I was a bit older. I don't think I enjoyed killing animals, but I didn't think too much about it as a pre-teen.

It was what it was, and it was what we did.

Besides, we lived next door to guys like these. Guns and hunting came easy.

One summer day in what I would guess was 1978, my family and I were taking a nice weekend drive through Jerry's Fork, along a very rugged mountain ridge near a place called Peach Orchard. The truck had to travel slowly, so my brother and I rode in the back of the flat-bed, goofing off mostly and looking for trouble. Suddenly, a groundhog shot across the path, and headed over an embankment into a creek bed about 40 yards from the truck.

My brother Jeff and I let out a holler and jumped out of the truck. As my dad tried to figure out what we were doing, we began chasing the groundhog through the creek, screaming and tossing rocks at it as we ran. We cornered it, finally, against a hillside just beside the creek.

In some type of hypnotic blood-lust, we stoned that groundhog to death.

After the groundhog died, my brother and I were sort of unsure how we should feel. We spent our childhood playing Cowboys & Indians, idolizing John Wayne and begging to go hunting with our dad; we had a romantic ideal of killing, and expected it to make us feel heroic, or strong.

Instead, it made us feel ashamed, and sick to our stomachs.

We talked about it a lot of times during the years that followed. It was a defining moment in my life, one in which I began to recognize the abuse that can come with power and authority, and how cruel and thoughtless the actions of people can be, even when it's unintentional.

I understood it, because I lived it. Even just for that silly, insignificant little moment.

Damn, I never saw that rabbit coming...

Please, Make It Stop: Part 13

From all accounts--including a source I know pretty well-- TV's straight-talking exploiter of people with problems just trumped Oprah in a public display of arrogance.

According to several reports, Dr. Phil McGraw showed up to visit Britney Spears at the hospital in which she was undergoing evaluations for her most recent display of unusual behavior. This despite the fact that McGraw:


(a) wasn't invited by Spears or the hospital;
(b) has no therapeutic relationship with Spears;
(c) has no clinical privilege at the hospital;


After visiting with Spears for a few minutes, McGraw stated publicly:

"My meeting with Britney and some family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention,' McGraw told the programs."

What are "the programs" to which McGraw made public statements about the health of a woman who is not his client?

Entertainment Tonight, and The Insider.

Dr. Phil just moved very close to Oprah on my Arrogant Celebs Who Think They Matter list.

Rescue Dawn

I like to think that faced with a live-or-die dilemma, I'd cowboy-up and show some grit. That's the real mark of humanity, isn't it? Staring down the event that caused the flight portion of our protective instinct to tingle, and successfully fight through incredibly poor odds to get it done.

Except I'm a sissy.

Sure, I'd fight like hell to help or save someone I loved. Even look at my kids wrong and I'll punch you in the mouth. Jump line in front of my wife at Kroger, it's me who's gonna complain. If some dire circumstance occurred that placed their safety in jeopardy, I'd do whatever it took to make things right. But place my health, safety or livelihood on the line?

I'll get to it later.

That's why the true-life inspired story of Dieter Dengler is so interesting to me. Played by Christian Bale, Lt. Dengler is a US Navy pilot who seems to sneer back at danger every time it stares him in the face. Testing fighter planes, shot down in the jungles of Vietnam, held for years in a POW camp, tortured physically and psychologically--none of it breaks Dengler. He's forever focused on his belief that everything will work out perfectly for him. That mindset not only keeps him sane, it likely sets up those opportunities that eventually do provide him with survival options.

Rescue Dawn is a fascinating study in how hope and optimism effect outcome. The movie slowly lets the characters develop, and allows the audience to feel connected to the prisoners Dengler lives with in the POW camp. Bale is very good--as always--as Dengler, but it's supporting actor Steve Zhan who really shines in this flick. Seen mostly in lighter fare during his career, Zhan is remarkable as POW Duane Martin. He keeps pace with Bale through the entire movie.

A blogpost or two ago I complained about not really getting action-driven flicks like the Bourne trilogy. Rescue Dawn is a terrific example of the type of movies I do get, and like: stories that rely on character development and dialogue to move the plot, and that leave me contemplative days later.

This movie isn't for everyone, but it's one of the best I've seen in months.

By The Numbers

82 ~ Number of stair- steps necessary to travel over in order to get to my office door

1 ~ Number of elevator buttons pushed today to allow me to reach my office floor

8 ~ Inches of hair recently trimmed from my head

0 ~ Percentage to which this haircut added to my "hotness quotient"

1.5 ~ My general mood on a 1-5 scale, (with 5 being "Excellent,") during the West Virginia Uglies.

11 ~ Number of deaths due to heroin use in my hometown in 2007

0 ~ Number of suspects in a current murder investigation in my hometown

20 ~ Consecutive days that WVU football and it's coaches have lead off the local news

24 ~ Number of movies I resolve to see in the theater in 2008

The Bourne Ultimatum

I'm well aware that the following comment will solidify my reputation for being un-hip and sometimes out of touch with popular culture. That's my reputation, especially with my pre-teen daughter's herd of friends, and I accept it. It's my cross to bear.

But, I don't like the Bourne movies. For the same reason I've never seen a Jet Li flick, or watched more than 10 minutes of a Bruce Lee movie. (Although I did dig The Green Hornet.)



The Bourne Ultimatum is, for me, like watching one of those kung-fu flicks from the 70s--the story is pushed along by movement and violence instead of an oral narrative.



Fast-paced scenes filled with martial arts can have a significant place in a movie, but for me, at least, it shouldn't be the crux of the movie.

But what do I know...I'm a geek.

I know there are serious fans of the Bourne trilogy. Write me why, in the comments section here or in an email. I'd like to put together a post sometime later on all the reasons the series is so popular.

Maybe I'll learn something.

American Gangster

Some professionals make money the old fashioned way. Frank Lucas did it the Wal*Mart way.

Cutting out the middle man, Lucas (played by Denzel Washington) recognized that bringing pure heroin into the U.S. straight from an Asian source and dealing the "blue magic" himself would add up to millions. And he was right; in less than five years Lucas became a wealthy man, responsible for, by some estimates, 70% of the heroin in New York.

Ritchie Roberts, (played by Russell Crowe) the dogged police detective-turned-prosecutor eventually sets his sites on Lucas, and brings him to justice. The investigation is lengthy and dangerous, and uncovers deep rooted problems within police departments in New York and New Jersey.

Washington and Crow are remarkable in their roles. They share only two scenes together, but the 10 minutes or so they are on camera together is well worth the wait. The story is well told, with attention paid to the development of each role. With Gangster, the motivation of each character is integral, and the audience is given clear and detailed insight into what makes the central figures tick.

American Gangster isn't always easy to watch. The violence isn't gratuitous, but it's real. Most interesting, though, is that the fictional story may not be as interesting as the real-life relationship between the big-time drug dealer and the cop who brought him down.

Real life sometimes is stranger than fiction.