Friday, July 14, 2006

Tonto Gets No Love

I'm calling for a boycott!

Boycotts work for Bill O'Reilly. Well...At least he calls for them all the time. When his dander gets up, he calls on his boyz to boycott things. Including countries, for Christ's sake. That's because boycotts are the life's blood of American protest. A way to right wrongs, and a method to draw attention to major slights and faux pas.

The reason for this boycott, you ask?

Tonto was left off the list of All-Time Top 50 Second Bananas.

The Top 5 of all-time were (5) Lucy's friend, Ethel Mertz; (4)Chewbacca; (3) George Costanza; (2)Batman's chum, Robin; and (1) Ed McMahon.

The rest-of-the-50 included such side-kicks as: Tattoo, from Fantasy Island, Robin Quivers, Howard Stern's perpetual laugh track and Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.

No Tonto, Kimosabe.

It escapes me how the Lone Ranger's best bud could be left off a list of 50. And a list that includes Pedro. It's just wrong. Tonto is the quintessential side-kick. The mold from which all other second bananas are created.

Tonto started it all!

So, I'm calling for a boycott. But I don't know who or what the boycott should take on. I need suggestions, and I need 'em quick.

12 comments:

Kelly said...

I think you need to boycott the drugs, dude!

The Film Geek said...

Kelly: My opinion is based on actual concern and disbelief, and not the result of a mind altering substance...I think.

jedi jawa said...

I think you should boycott "Pirates of the Caribbean" (because you really wouldn't be missing much). That way you could put a thumb in the eye of pop culture for overlooking Tonto.

If you're still into the drugs you should definitely go see the non-mainstream "A Scanner Darkly" by one of my favorite sci-fi authors Philip K. Dick when it gets a wide release. The drugs might enhance the movie, but it looks to be filmed in a way that you will get the effect either way.

The Film Geek said...

Jedi: No druges. Kelly knows that, she is just a-joshing.

I will see A Scanner Darkly DESPITE Keanue Reeves, because it looks like a living comic book.

jedi jawa said...

I knew you weren't on drugs...at least not ones that will get you fired. BTW, that film technique is called rotoscoping and I'm guessing that it is used to accentuate the effect of the main character's involvement with "Substance D".

Keanu gets a bad rap. People say that he can't act but I think that he tends to get cast into roles where his reserved demeanor and "woah" type amazement add to the story. I can't defend them all but here are a few that I enjoyed. "Johnny Mnemonic" and "The Matrix Trilogy" both are cyberpunk sci-fi one with a William Gibson story and the other based off a comic book - cyberpunk tends to have flat affect, matter of fact, everything is way cool sort of themes so he was perfect. In "Speed" ... uh ... stuff blows up and they drive fast. And in ... umm ... okay I just ran out of material. You win.

The Film Geek said...

I have seen Reeves do some good acting. It's been so long between those gigs, though, that I can't recall what they were.

Hoyt said...

I'd boycott EW because its list stinks. But I like reading it. So I nominate Dr. Phil for the boycott.

The Film Geek said...

Hmmmm...I like the Dr. Phil nomination a lot.

Jackie Lantern said...

You should boycott not littering and gambling at the Cherokee casinos. That'll show them...

Jackie Lantern said...

Seriously though, I have a theory. EW was worried that placing Tonto on the list wouldn't be politically correct, so they left him off. There's a small group of people out there who thinks Tonto represents an offensive stereotype. I'm not one of them, but they do exist. It's the only rational (or irrational) explanation for him being left off the list.

Other than that, this list is wack. NBC's Dwight over the BBC's Gareth? Sallah but no Short Round?
Now I'm offended!

Kelly said...

The geek does not do drugs! He may be more fun if he did! Just kidding!

The Film Geek said...

Jackie: I agree completely with your theory. And while I might agree the character of Tonto may not have been the best representative of Native Americans, not including him on the list is a disgrace. And his was no more a caricature than the housewife (Ethel Mertz) on the list, of the nerdy kid (Pedro).

Jeez...I can't believe I actually got a bit worked up there...

Kelly, you rock! Light it up, babe.