Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Monkey Says 'No'

Jackie Lantern, the pumkin' wearing scribe from Saved By The Torso, wrote recently that he tries hard to "avoid turning this blog into some touchy-feely emotion-fest." And, I understand that.

I, too, try to keep the cutsey on the down-lo.

It's just not that interesting to me to write about all-things-emotional when I can focus my time on such topics as movies, music or Oprah. Hell, even TomKat getting married in November is on my To-Write-About-Soon list, three priority levels above What I Love About Thanksgiving.

Besides, I have a reputation to maintain among my brotherhood in
The Union. I am, after all, an Official Member.

But even Jackie admits that sometimes the emotional stuff can't be avoided. And I agree.

My three-year-old son, Jaden, was recently hospitalized for what doctors are calling "walking pneumonia." His breathing had become a bit labored, and he ran a high fever for a couple of days. So, we insisted he be admitted to the local hospital. (After a couple days of intensive treatment, Jaden is home and recovering nicely.)

But, it was his exchange with a new doctor on that first day at the hospital that I can't stop laughing about.

The doctor wanted Jaden to buy into some respitory treatment that involved face-masks and straps, and Jaden wasn't having any of it. In fact, he was refusing to talk to the doctor. And this is unusual, because he talks.

A lot.

But, not that day. And, while he was not talking, he was clutching the brand new stuffed monkey that his aunt brought to keep him company. The doctor saw the monkey, recognized the opportunity and switched techniques:

Dr.: "Jaden, the mask won't hurt you, it will make you feel better. Will you give it a try?"

Jaden: [Silence. And an evil glare at the otherwise nice doctor.]

Dr.: "Jaden, you won't have to wear it all day. Just an hour or so. OK?"

Jaden: [Nada, except more of the same. Doubled.]

Dr.: "Jaden, I bet the monkey would want you to try it. Let's ask the monkey if it's OK for you to wear the mask just for a little while, then take it off. What do you think about that, monkey?"

Jaden: [15 seconds of dramatic pause, then a deadpanned...] "...The monkey says 'No."

It sounded like dialogue right out of the 40s, or like that from the movie Brick. And, I could not stop laughing for hours.

Man, for some reason I love that kid more now than before he went in.


Anonymous said...

I'm just glad he's home, man.

...but you can definitely tell he is his father's son! LOL.

Hoyt said...

Your son's response "The monkey says 'No'" is hilarious! I'm also glad to hear that he's home, too.

The Film Geek said...

Thanks guys. Means more to me than you know.

Anonymous said...

"...The monkey says 'No."

That kid is awesome!!!

I'm glad to hear everythings okay :)

jedi jawa said...

That is awfully cute. Glad to hear that he's doing better.

The Film Geek said...

Thank you Jackie, and Jedi. I really appreciate it.

Stitching Barbie Girl said...

Funniest thing ever. Next time I don't want to do something I'm so using that line.

Glad he is home and doing better. Nothing is harder than a little one being sick and even worse in the hospital.

JDB said...

Always listen to the monkey - she knows what she's talking about.

Glad the little one's back home and doing OK!

The Film Geek said...

Thanks Barbie and JDB! And the monkey says thanks, too!

Anonymous said...

It should also be noted that.... even when the staff were having trouble stabilizing his breathing when he first went in to the hospital, he told the wonderful male nurse...
"I want girl nurses".
Later in the week, when a girl nurse was giving him a sponge bath, the Film Geek says to the nurse:

"I think I would like to have one ofthose my own can I get in line?"

Like father like son.

Mrs. Film Geek

Kelly said...

I just spoke to Mrs. Film Geek a little bit ago. I heard Jaden was sick but man, I didn't know it was that bad. I'm glad he is home and now the two of you can get some rest! That story will be one you'll tell for years! It reminds me of something Reagan would say! And Film Geek, good luck on the sponge bath!

The Film Geek said...

I've stood in line for a sponge bath a lot longer than two days! But, the water this nurse used was just luke-warm.

donutbabe said...

ROTFL -- what a great story! Jaden sounds like a smart kid. I'm glad he's on the mend.

The Film Geek said...

Thanks Donutbabe! :)

becky said...

Ahahahahaaa!!! Oh, that should be the answer to everything I don't want to do, now.

My son, Joseph, had walking pneumonia when he was 3. It was terrifying. He ended up being hospitalized for it, because it was so bad. I can't believe how quickly he got better, once he did a few breathing treatments. I hope the monkey let Jaden do it. :)

The Film Geek said...

The monkey did, Becky. And Jaden is doing better because of it. At least that's what the monkey tells me.
Thanks a bunch!