Sunday, June 28, 2009

Year One

Between polite chuckles while watching Year One, I couldn't help but recall how brilliant movies by Mel Brooks and Monty Python were. Although I sound like my Dad complaining about how art from his generation was better, check out History Of The World, Part I and see how this Jack Black comedy should have been handled.

After watching the flick, (and with apologies to Brooks) the "Lord Jehovah has given unto me these fifteen..."[third tablet drops, and breaks] "Oy...Ten! Ten Commandments! For all to obey!”

10. If thou doest view Year One whilst sitting among others in a theater, thou art prohibited from yelling: "Hey, it's McLovin,'" as one child in the third row did each time Christopher Mintz-Plasse's Issac was in a scene.

9. Thou shalt appreciate David Cross for his incredible talent: but for his great turn as Cain, Year One would be an even greater disappointment.

8. Thou shalt have no other comedic gods before Jack Black...unless Mr. Black is simply phoning in the work and collecting a paycheck. Then, thou shalt enjoyeth the comedy stylings of Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler without feeling guilty.

7. Honor the memory of Michael Cera's work in Juno, Superbad and Arrested Development so that thy days of belly laughs and hearty chuckles will be long. The honor he deserves for Year One? Not so much.

6. Thou shalt not bear false witness about producer Judd Apatow. Thus, when thou is asked: "How did you like Year One?" thou shalt respond with: "Apatow's getting full of himself, and he's throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks."

5. Thou shalt not covet high quality comedies while watching Year One.

4. Thou shalt feel free to covet Juno Temple, who co-starred as Eema.

3. Thou shalt not murder...unless a man who looks strikingly similar to Oliver Platt's High Priest character asks for one more hot oil rub.

2. Thou shalt not commit adultery. (The lone exception to this commandment, to which the Lord Jehovah concedeth, is if thou is seduced by June Raphael's Maya, whilst she wears her cave woman outfit.)

1. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Catch this flick as a Sunday matinee, kiss the "holy" part of your holy day goodbye.

3 comments:

Hoyt said...

I think I liked this movie better back when it was called "Caveman" with Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach.

Chris James said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris James said...

I'm waiting to see if Michael Cera has a second character in his acting repertoire other than "sweet, doe-eyed kid slightly over-whelmed by fast-paced, semi-evil world around him."