Saturday, June 17, 2006

Mr. Romance Gets Outed

"Hi, I'm The Film Geek, and [taking a long, deep breath] I'm not really very romantic."

Okay, there. I said it. While I sometimes think I'm romantic, and often proclaim loudly that I am romantic, the fact is I suck. I'm lame. When it comes to planning romance, I blow. Hard.

My wife's 40th birthday was this week. I arranged a couple of things to celebrate the event that I thought would be fun: I put together a dinner with our closest friends at a nice restaurant, and paid to have someone fill our yard with signs, balloons and objects designed to (1) make her smile, and (2) embarrass her a lot.

Fun, for sure. But not romantic.

Romance, one may suggest, could be found in the small, intimate gifts a husband might give to or purchase for his wife. And here, dear blogger friends, is where I went bad. My small list-of-what-I-thought-were-good-gifts was:

1. A couple of large, scented candles.

Mrs. Film Geek and I spend lots of mall time in candle shops, looking for that just-right scent. It made sense to me that she loved candles, so I picked up a couple. Apparently, though, I haven't been paying attention to what we are looking for at Bath & Body Works. Mrs. Film Geek doesn't like fruit scents...

2. A CD of 80's tunes.

Turning 40 was nostalgic for me, and caused me to spend lots of time reflecting on my early adult years. Figuring she would too, I thought a CD full o' 80's tunes would be fun. Another mistaken presumption on my part: my wife is more Thriller than Ghostbusters, more Billy Squire than Footloose. You can guess which tunes were contained on this particular CD.

Number 3 is hard to talk about...So, forgive me if I struggle through the facts. To round out my wife's 40th birthday gift bag, I picked up for her...

3. Office Supplies.

Mrs. Film Geek works in a consulting-type gig, and spends significant amounts of time in the offices of other professionals. But, she doesn't have an office herself, except for a small room in our finished basement. And she is always--well, maybe once in a while--talking about how she needs to better organize that office area. So, I took the opportunity to help out...With a 24-slot travel-ready portable file something-or-other, and some file folders.

Jesus, I suck...

The only redeeming factor in all of this is that word leaked out among our friends that I purchased office supplies as a birthday gift for my wife. So at dinner last evening, our friends gave her office supplies as gifts themselves. Reams of paper, pencils, boxes of pens, post-its, etc. It made her laugh, and got me off the hook. A little...

14 comments:

Jana said...

Office supplies rock!

Kelly said...

Did you not learn when you bought her the LETTER OPENER OF DEATH?

Jackie Lantern said...

Office supplies?!? No. You. Didn't.

Off Route 75 said...

Anytime you open with the disclaimer "and here's where I went bad," you've already got me hooked!

Dear, Sweet, Sweet God. Office supplies? Did you get her some ethernet cable? The computer guy where I work is always drunk, do you want me to steal some blank CD-R's (so you can sample Kenny Loggins and Dan Hartman for the next 80's CD)?

By the way, you're the most introspective person on the planet. NO ONE IS AS INTROSPECTIVE AS YOU. Besides, she may have just been "introspective" about all the action she passed up to be with somebody who covers there face when they talk and say "Uh" and "HUH?!" alot. Do you want her waxing nostalgic about that stuff? ;)

My wife also wanted me to tell you that you were a "f$%&@#* moron"....but that she enjoys your blog! ROTFLMFAO

The Film Geek said...

huh?

The Film Geek said...

Couldn't resist...

Yes, Jackie, I did...it is all true, sadly.

And 75: Sounds like you've been perfecting impersonations of The Film Geek at your ol' kenova home.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think the Mrs. Film Geek may just be hard to please, she should have been happy just for the effort you made, trying to find the things you thought she would like.what does she buy you for your special occasions? Some advice, stop being so down on yourself, you tried to please her....obviously, it doesn't work, so stop trying...I bet you are a great husband.

The Film Geek said...

Thanks Mom

jedi jawa said...

Hey 75, you of all people should be more sympathetic to guys who have wives who can be, well, difficult. We're all part of the same brotherhood here. :)

I say NO MA'AM!
http://www.bundyology.com/nomaam.html

God I loved that show! Happy recovery Film Geek. I'll be rooting for you.

Jana said...

Your mom is alive!

Jana said...

Hey, check out my new picture on MySpace!

http://www.myspace.com/janabanker

Anonymous said...

Sometimes us women can be hard to please. I am very lucky that my husband knows all the right things to do on special occassions. I think it was very nice of you to do all those things. I love office supplies, oh my gosh all the different colored post it notes and note pads, very nice! Keep trying, I give you an A+ for effort!

Anonymous said...

I hope your husband gets you a box of post-its for all upcoming special events.

Kelly said...

Geek, quit posting anonymous...we all know it is you!