Mr. Romance Gets Outed

"Hi, I'm The Film Geek, and [taking a long, deep breath] I'm not really very romantic."

Okay, there. I said it. While I sometimes think I'm romantic, and often proclaim loudly that I am romantic, the fact is I suck. I'm lame. When it comes to planning romance, I blow. Hard.

My wife's 40th birthday was this week. I arranged a couple of things to celebrate the event that I thought would be fun: I put together a dinner with our closest friends at a nice restaurant, and paid to have someone fill our yard with signs, balloons and objects designed to (1) make her smile, and (2) embarrass her a lot.

Fun, for sure. But not romantic.

Romance, one may suggest, could be found in the small, intimate gifts a husband might give to or purchase for his wife. And here, dear blogger friends, is where I went bad. My small list-of-what-I-thought-were-good-gifts was:

1. A couple of large, scented candles.

Mrs. Film Geek and I spend lots of mall time in candle shops, looking for that just-right scent. It made sense to me that she loved candles, so I picked up a couple. Apparently, though, I haven't been paying attention to what we are looking for at Bath & Body Works. Mrs. Film Geek doesn't like fruit scents...

2. A CD of 80's tunes.

Turning 40 was nostalgic for me, and caused me to spend lots of time reflecting on my early adult years. Figuring she would too, I thought a CD full o' 80's tunes would be fun. Another mistaken presumption on my part: my wife is more Thriller than Ghostbusters, more Billy Squire than Footloose. You can guess which tunes were contained on this particular CD.

Number 3 is hard to talk about...So, forgive me if I struggle through the facts. To round out my wife's 40th birthday gift bag, I picked up for her...

3. Office Supplies.

Mrs. Film Geek works in a consulting-type gig, and spends significant amounts of time in the offices of other professionals. But, she doesn't have an office herself, except for a small room in our finished basement. And she is always--well, maybe once in a while--talking about how she needs to better organize that office area. So, I took the opportunity to help out...With a 24-slot travel-ready portable file something-or-other, and some file folders.

Jesus, I suck...

The only redeeming factor in all of this is that word leaked out among our friends that I purchased office supplies as a birthday gift for my wife. So at dinner last evening, our friends gave her office supplies as gifts themselves. Reams of paper, pencils, boxes of pens, post-its, etc. It made her laugh, and got me off the hook. A little...