Mrs. Film Geek has a milestone birthday tomorrow. (By the way, since this blog thing started, my wife insists on being called "Mrs. Film Geek". Go figure.) Because I am known among my friends and family as Mr. Romance, I've been trying to plan something fun for her.
Besides cake, I mean. I got the cake covered...Really. I do. (Note to self...)
Anyway, in my desperate attempt to come up with something original I decided to call our friend Darcy (a pseudonym) and ask her advice. Darcy is a great friend, and lots of fun. She is prissy, yet bawdy. She can curse like a sailor given half the chance, and I often tease her about her language. The telephone call went like this (Please be advised, salty language ahead):
Darcy: [answering the phone] "Hello?"
Me: "Hey, it's [my name]. How ya doing? You sound a bit muffled, like you are outside. Enjoying the pool?"
Darcy: "No, just have my hands full, and trying to answer the phone. Carrying stuff in from the car."
Me. "Oh, I'm sorry. I bet you were cursing the whole time you were getting to the phone. I can hear you now: 'Goddamn it! Who is calling me while I'm carrying stuff in? Fuck them, goddamn bastards! Fuckers!"
Darcy: "No. I wasn't cursing. It just took me a little while to get to the phone is all. What's up?"
Me: "Sure you were cursing. I can just imagine it now. 'Fuck whoever is calling! Bastards! Leave me the hell alone, I'm busy!"
Darcy: "No...I wasn't cursing. Anyway, do you want me to have Darcy call you back?"
Me: [long pause] "This isn't Darcy? You sound like Darcy."
Darcy Stand-In: "No...This is her Mom."
Click
16 comments:
Nice move. Mr. Romance + Mr. Foot-In-Mouth= The Film Geek.
BTW, did you hide your face in your hands after you hung up?
Bet you did.
That is hysterical.
So uh, did she ever call back?
That is effing hilarious.
I'll bet next time she sees you she will chase you screaming "love me long time"!!!
"Sure you were cursing. I can just imagine it now. 'Fuck whoever is calling! Bastards! Leave me the hell alone, I'm busy!"
Funniest. Post. Ever.
First of all, Mrs. Film Geek has never insisted that she be called Mrs. Film Geek.
Secondly, I would think that Mr. Romance Film Geek might have started planning for Mrs. Film Geek's Milestone birthday slightly earlier than the day before.
And last, but certainly not least, Please, in the name of all that is holy, tell me that you made that up in an effort to redirect Mrs. Film Geek's attention to the story rather than to the fact that as of less than 24 hours before her milestone birthday, you had nothing in the works.
.
A gold letter opener...really? No wonder she gave it away. Obviously you need some help in the gift department. At least we don't have to worry about someone calling your mom...I hear she is dead.
The envelope opener was brass...
I have to tell you. This story has provided me with much laughter all afternoon and evening.
I know who "Darcy" is and I see her mother in law frequently. I think mother in law would get a kick out of that story, I'll have to pass this along!
Sweet God, you're in deep shit. Mrs. Film Geek is posting....and you're probably sitting in the basement, smoking Marlboro Lights, running your hands through your hair.....and checking the walmart.com website for a jewelry box.
You owe me $50, by the way....never paid up. That's just wrong.
Man, I quite smokin' a long time ago. I am in the basement with the laptop, though LOL
Better start praying to the Gift Gods...
Birthday emergencies aside, this reminds me of a similar phone call I made in college. A woman I was dating said she'd call me, but didn't. So when someone picked up the phone at her house, I didn't even wait for a "Hello." I (somewhat jokingly) went into a rant.
And after I finally took a breath, there was a pause on the other line. "Well, this is Stephanie's mother, and I'll tell her you feel that way."
I handled it like an adult. I yelled "Oh. My. God." and hung up the phone.
Geek: I can just hear and picture you on this phone call and it makes me laugh my ass off!
Post a Comment