Sunday, September 17, 2006

Edison Force

Recipe for: Straight-To-Video Con Carne


2 Oscar-winning actors: Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey.
1 Well known character actor who always turns in fine work: John Heard
1 TV and movie star well known for his quiet passion: Dylon McDermott
1 rapper/actor who always turns in a terrific performance: LL Cool J
1 actor/singer who wants a "serious actor" label: Justin Timberlake

Package and market the film as the debut of Justin Timberlake (pre-Bringing Sexy Back edition), fill the movie with cliches and improbabilities, hire writers that have done mostly hour-long TV work and monkey with the name at least twice.

Give the meatiest, most interesting role to LL Cool J, and ignore the other, more accomplished ingredients.

Let sit for one year, as you contemplate a bit more how to package the movie.

Add sloppy editing, place into DVD -plastic and ship in bulk to Blockbuster.


Off Route 75 said...

C'mon! Ladies Love Cool James is the man! Did you see his "I'm that Type of Guy" video?!?

...did you even listen to his "Walkin' Like A Panther" album?

Mama said knock you out!


Anathema Device said...

Oh, great. Now I have "Mama Said Knock You Out" stuck in my head.


Die, earworm, die!!!

The Film Geek said...

As strange as this is to say, I generally like LL Cool J in a film. He is almost always good, and he was the best in this movie of all the cast.

Damn Momma Said Knock You Out....NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

jedi jawa said...

Avast me hearties! You know, those actors Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey, and especially Denzel Washington (not mentioned in this post) can really be hit and miss in terms of their ability to pick good and bad films. BTW, don't forget to Talk Like a Pirate today! Arrr!