Wonder How Much Will This Stamp Will Cost?

Dear God:

It's been a long while since we last spoke. That's my fault, really, and I'm sorry. I've just been caught up in life stuff, you know? One thing after another. But, I reckon you do know.

The grand design is yours, after all.

I'm writing today about Pat Robertson, that 700 Club guy. I'm not sure if you've kept up with him during the last few years, but he's putting your name out there left and right, tacking fear to it in what looks like attempts to scare people into following you. Or maybe to keep himself in the spotlight, which brings him more money. (Or maybe both. After all, if he scares folks into following you, they might send him more cash.)

Anyway, the guy is out of hand.

Last year Robertson said a tsunami would hit the U.S. in 2006, and that it would kill lots of people. Before that he blamed you for causing the stroke of Israeli Prime Minster Ariel Sharon. Now, he's predicting that terrorists will attack America in 2007, and the result will be "mass killings." In case you don't read the papers, here is his latest.

Here's the kicker: He says you told him all this.

Now, I may be out of place trying to tell you how to run your business. (Although if you are inclined to take polite suggestions, we could use a tad more peace across the globe these days.) If you are talking to Robertson though, there may be some things of which you are unaware: First, he's not always quoting you directly, and that sometimes causes confusion. For example, he said this of your most recent game of "grapevine":

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear. The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Secondly, using Robertson as a mouthpiece may not be best for your public image. Most folks view him as a snake-oil salesman. A carny, barking out anything to get people to come to his booth and put down a quarter. Sure, people give the guy millions every year . But you have to ask yourself if you want to be associated with that type of image. Maybe it's time to find a new prophet.

I think it is.

Letting Robertson speak for you only serves to water down faith in you. And some of us--OK, me--struggle heavily with faith. I've just gotten to the point where I actually have some. Keep letting Robertson deliver your mail and the small amount I've been able to nurture these last few years may die out.

If you aren't giving Robertson some inside scoop, then I apologize for my remarks. If, though, you are feeding him the occasional inside tip, I hope you'll consider telling the guy to put a sock in it.

He's doing nobody any favors.

Sincerely,

The Film Geek