Wednesday, October 31, 2007

My Top 5: Movies That Scared Me The Least

A little more than a year ago I wrote a post about the 5 films that scared me--and continue to scare me--the most. Since it's that time of the year and all, I've put together another list: this one, contrary to the list from last year, is about movies that tried to scare the hell outta me but failed. And trust me: If they fail in scaring me, they ain't that scary.

'Cause truth be told, I'm a sissy.

Here is My Top 5: Films That Scared Me The Least:

The Birds (1963) : Birds? You mean, that film about regular birds annoying and bugging the locals? Birds with no special powers, or mutated abilities? Just a...whole lotta birds?

How's that scary?

The Amityville Horror (1979) : Flies? You mean that movie where regular flies descend upon and annoy the people who live in the house?

That movie starring Barbara Streisand's husband? The guy who gets annoyed with a whole lotta flies that have no special powers, or mutated abilities?

Please...

The Wicker Man (2006) : Someone wake me up when Nic Cage gets burned alive. I need to see that, as payback for watching the first 90 minutes of this flick.

Ghost Story (1981) : This one may have been scary, I'm not sure.

I saw it with my girlfriend a few weeks after we started car dating and parking. All I was thinking about during this movie was what was gonna happen once it was over.

Jeepers Creepers (2001) : Throw Ed and the other guy from that Macintosh commercial in with this monster and you got yourself a movie. As is?

Not so scary.

11 comments:

Suzy said...

Are you serious? You've see "The Birds" and a nearby winged flock doesn't completely paralyze you or make you sit in a corner and sing "Jesus loves me" softly to yourself?!? Well, I think you are just a badass then. That flick and Arachnophobia still give me hives. Happy Halloween to you, too BTW.

Suzy said...

(oops - "seen") See? That movie scared the spelling right out of me!

Hoyt said...

Birds with no special powers, or mutated abilities? Just a...whole lotta birds?

How's that scary?


ROFLMAO!

I haven't seen the remake of The Wicker Man with Nicholas Cage--so thanks for saving me the trouble. But the original really creeped me out big time.

fishing guy said...

Film Geek
I usually think you are right on but putting "The Birds" in the non-scary group astounds me. I just did a post on what happened the day after I saw the movie.
Happy Halloween

The Film Geek said...

Hey Suzy! Typos are the number one response to intense fear, I'm told! Happy Halloween to you, too!

Hey Hoyt: The English version was better, by far. Skip the remake.

Fishing Guy: If it scares ya, so be it. Maybe I was too focused on one of the most annoying parts of the movie: the leads wear the same clothes. Every scene! That damn green dress (or pantsuit of whatever it's called) was god awful to begin with, bit seeing it every scene is intolerable.

RedZeppelin said...

Ghost Story scared the crap out of me when I saw it as a kid.

The genius behind The Birds is that Hitch was able to take something as non-scary as birds and make them scary. It's not "pee your pants" scary, but very creepy.

The Film Geek said...

Hey Redzepplin! Yeah, of those on my list it scared me the most. But I really was focused on getting out of there, and getting it on.

I've seen The Birds at least five times, maybe more. I watched it again, just last weekend on AMC. I really don't get it. Never did. I hear what your saying, but ...maybe it's just me.

Jelly-Filled said...

I am in awe. You were not only able to watch The Amityville Horror, but you also survived AND claim it wasn't scary!?!!? I've tried to watch it three times, but I never made it past the creepy music with the kids singing at the beginning. I chickened out every time and had nightmares anyway. In fact, just thinking of that music will probably give me nightmares tonight. Are you telling me I've already seen the scariest part?

But The Birds? Yeah. Not scary.

The Film Geek said...

Hiya Jelly-Filled: Yeah, I saw the original and the remake. I thought both were something less than scarey! But, really, I'm not a brave guy at all!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Ghost Story was a really lame movie, but that book written by Peter Straub really scared the s**t out of me. I loved it- the book.

As for movies that scared me, I haven't seen one since Nightmare on Elm Street. My mother banned me from horror movies as a child so needless to say I watched as many as I could behind her back- the end result was that I was totally desensitized by horror movies by about age 14.

iremonger said...

Have you seen the original Wicker Man? The remake is not worthy of the name.