Thursday, March 26, 2009

Grape Nuts Says I'm A Sissy

Grape Nuts cereal, a favorite of mine since I was a teen, just called me out as a sissy.


In a new advertising campaign aimed at men, Grape Nuts tells viewers who visit the ad web site:

"When you tackle something tough at work or at home, that doesn't just take know-how -- that takes Grape Nuts."

Also on the web site is a "Guy's Manual," which gives tips on how to restore vintage cars. Even their new print ads are testosterone-charged: several will feature men fishing and golfing which, I presume, the makers of the cereal believe are general acts of manliness.

According to Grape Nuts, then, I'm a sissy.

After a bowl of the crunchy stuff--fully soaked in milk for proper chewing consistancy--I'm more likley to head to the comic shop than to the river to fish. What I know about vintage cars fits into a discussion about which Batmobile style was most useful to Batman. And the number of blogposts I've written about movies, comic books and Oprah far outweigh the number of golfballs I've sliced in my lifetime.

So, I'm reminded again--by my favorite cereal, no less--that I'm not very manly. That's just nuts.

Pass the milk.


Buzzardbilly said...

fuh-nuck a bunch of fuh-nucking grape fuh-nuts. I always sensed it was a judgmental cereal, now I know it's true. Besides, it if really were a manly cereal, wouldn't they have had Jim who was wrestling the wild alligator hawking them instead of Merlin Perkins, who just voiced over how close to death Jim was on any given day?

Donutbuzz said...

I used to be a 90-pound weakling. Thanks to Grape Nuts, now I'm a 125-pound weakling.

Chris James said...

This reminds me of when Golden Grahams put "Chris James Smokes Pole" on every box.

Jackie said...

I love me some Grape Nuts.

That being said, those two guys in Air Supply think you're too girly... :D:D:D

The Film Geek said...

Preach it, Buzzardbilly!

Hoyt: so that's how you beat me at arm wrestling last week.

Chris: I kept on of those boxes as a souvenir.

Jackie: You know, I'm all out of love. I used to be lost in love, and when I felt that even the nights are better. I could make love out of nothing at all! But not anymore, my soft rock friend. These days, I'm all outta love.

Goddamn, that was fun, :)

All Click said...

I think manliness needs a new definition. I have never played golf, I can't fix cars, I don't really watch sports. So am I girly? I hope not. I can build stuff though..if it comes in a kit.

primalscreamx said...

Grape Nuts blows...

Read Me said...

The generic variety is just as good as Post's. Generic doesn't care whether you're manly or not; Generic is the Everyman.

The Film Geek said...

I feel better.

Buzzardbilly said...

I think I may have nearly missed getting your friend Bionic Bigfoot to demand a throw-down title bout match with my cousin Supersquatch when mentioned Supersquatch as I wrote about the new Power logo (and Toast Man).

I'm feeling lucky.

cat said...

Your manliness is neither about your grapes, your nuts, or your golfballs, sir. It's strictly that leaving the toilet seat up thing.