Jack Black (Executive Producer and Star): ". . . and then I wake up on a strange beach, tied up just like the guy in the Swift novel, surrounded by these little fuckers. I freak out, rip off the ropes and jump to my feet. Then, the little bastards attack me. One of them manages to pull my pants down just a bit, enough to show my butt crack for 15 or 20 seconds, then pulls me down onto my back. As I fall to the ground, one of the little fuckers gets lodged in my butt crack. Later -- and the full details have to be worked out on this scene -- there will be a fire in one of the little houses these people live in, and I'll put the fire out by pissing on it. We'll film it in 3-D, put it out at Christmas when people have more time to see matinees, and the kids will beg to see it!"
Sigh . . .
Hollywood is wrong. We don't want the same character over and over again. If he keeps this practice up, Black's gonna lose his audience. Just ask Tom Hanks.
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