Horrible Bosses

Seth Gordon's Horrible Bosses,the funniest, smartest comedy I've seen in years, boasts a tremendous cast and a plot with which most everyone can identify.

Because we've all had our share of bad bosses.

I experienced my first bad boss on my first job. During my freshman year in college I worked during the summer at a local Dairy Queen. Sticky hands at the end of my shift were OK, and the one-third off my meals while working was a pretty cool benefit. So the gig wasn't a bad way to make money for rent.

Except for The Man.

The franchise owner was more than a horrible boss. He was mean, really. Back in the 80s -- and perhaps they exist even today -- DQ coupons for a "Free Sundae" could be found on cereal boxes. Little kids would come to the store to get their free sundae and The Man would insist he be the one to serve them the ice cream. He's pour out the smallest of dollops into a small cup, slop some hot fudge on it, then smile as he handed it to the kid.

"I hope the kid chokes on that ice cream," he'd say after the kid walked out the door. And he meant it; The Man hated losing a nickle to anyone, even if it was a poor kid who had to rely on a coupon to get some ice cream now and again.

That's why a lot of times I just gave away a lot of his product. To little kids, to adults, to anyone who looked like they could use an extra hot dog or a upgrade in value meals. A whole lotta folks drove off that lot thinking DQ made a mistake and gave them a large fry instead of a small one.

I hope they enjoyed every last salty, fried-in-fat potato slice.

Working for The Man wasn't a complete waste of my time. I learned a lot about how not to treat people, and a lot about how people really want to be treated. Working for The Man made me a better person, because I learned early to do the exact opposite of my horrible boss.

Plus, I still know how to make that cute curly-thing on top of a soft-serve cone!

Green Lantern

Let me start with the most important part of this blog post: I hate, and have always hated, Green Lantern.

I hate that the DC comic book superhero has A-List swagger when he's a C-List character. I hate that God-awful oath he chants as he charges his ring. I hate the premise that he's a space cop responsible for an huge section of the galaxy, but spends most of his time in Coast City fighting the Tattooed Man. I hate that the Lantern ring -- supposed to be the most powerful weapon in the universe -- is used by Jordan mostly to conjure up over-stuffed boxing gloves and cages for trapping foes.

The comic book Green Lantern has always been held back by the limited imaginations of various artists and writers. And, I'm afraid, the movie suffers from the same lackluster inspiration.

The special effects in Green Lantern are clearly the best part of this flick. Flying sequences are the best I've seen, the trips into space are visually stunning, and the lantern-made gimmicks look and sound real. Ryan Reynolds looks and acts like Hal Jordan. The other GLs -- some really unusual life-forms -- are well done.

But the flick lacks substance. Trying too hard to tell multiple stories, the film never really seems to go into depth with one particular story line. One minute Hal Jordan is experiencing an existential dilemma, the next he's overcome it and can be found lecturing the immortal Guardians of the Universe.

Green Lantern fits in nicely as part of a team. Perhaps as one part of the Justice League this character can be compelling. As the lead in his own movie, however, Green Lantern just doesn't work.

And I knew it wouldn't.