Please, Make It Stop: Part 9

I've been sitting at my computer for a short while, trying to come up with a phrase for just how stupid and self serving The Juice seems to be. And I can't. After reading about his latest venture in this report, I may be stuck in permanent writer's-block-mode.

It seems O.J. is gonna write a book that will include a chapter, at least, describing how (hypothetically) he would have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman back in the day. I mean, if he had actually done it, of course...

The book's gonna be titled: If I Did It.

Sam Mircovich, AP
How can someone do this in a courtroom, then years later publish a wink and a nod to folks who will rush out to buy his book simply because they have to know. Desperately.

'Cause we're suckers. And O.J. knows it.

I hope people don't buy the book. I'm pretty sure, though, it will be a best seller...

We Are Marshall Movie Promotion

The We Are Marshall homepage has some terrific pictures of the upcoming Warner Bros. movie. Plus, the studio is running a cool promotion--create the best We Are Marshall fan site, and win 50-large.

December 22, 2006 can't get here fast enough!

UPDATE: Oncee has many of the site's individual pictures on his blog, ready and waitin' for all you Herd fans hoping to cash in. Have at it!

Edmond

I'm a huge fan of David Mamet and William H. Macey. Together--in small films like State And Main, or more ambitious flicks like Spartan--the chemistry is usually magical.

Usually.

Their chemistry in Edmond? Not so magical.

Macey is Edmond Burke, a middle-aged man who one day, rather suddenly, realizes he has endured enough of his average, hum-drum existence. His epiphany is one we've all had: He waltzes in to work one day, and is informed that his boss has rescheduled their meeting from that morning to later in the afternoon-- with no forethought given to whether or not Burke's schedule will accommodate the change.

The change doesn't matter to the boss, and Burke realizes that neither does he.

In a meltdown similar to Falling Down, Burke begins to realize he's bored with it all. His wife, his job, everything. So, he simply walks out, and hits the gritty New York City nightlife looking for action that will make him feel.

Something. Anything.

After losing out on some action with a couple ladies of the evening, Burke strikes up relationships with some ne'er-do-wells that change his perspective--and his life--forever. His one night on the town goes horribly wrong. For Burke, it's a classic case of "be careful what you wish for."

Edmond is based on a 20 year old play written by Mamet. And the film feels like a play. The scenes are simple, the dialogue complicated and quick. Unlike Glengarry Glen Ross--another Mamet play turned into a film--Edmond never reaches it's potential. It's dark and dismal, and it's supposed to be. And Macy's acting is superb. But, I couldn't help feeling it underachieved. It's too predictable, and too stiff.

And that's too bad. I wanted so much to like this film.

Strange Days, Indeed

I ran across this story over the weekend, and can't stop thinking how unusual it is...

Story and photos from FoxNews: New York:

Courtney Love says Mel Gibson helped her on the road to recovery. Love, the former leader of the band Hole and widow of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, said Gibson showed up at a Beverly Hills, Calif., hotel room while she was doing drugs with several men.







"Mel kept coming to the door with this cheesy grin going, `Hi!"' Love said in an interview with Diane Sawyer that aired Tuesday on ABC's Good Morning America.




"I just kept looking at him going — I can't cuss — um, `Blank off!' ... I know him and he's a nice guy. It didn't matter who it was. It could have been Jesus. I didn't care.

Love said Gibson, accompanied by addiction counselor Warren Boyd, left with the men "to have a cheeseburger" while Boyd talked to her about seeking treatment.

The real question, to me at least, was: Where was Mel on April 8, 1994, when it really mattered?

Notes To Self

I try hard to not throw stones.

Mostly, that's because I've made a helluva lot of mistakes myownself. I mean, a lot. You chuck enough rocks at folks, some are gonna get thrown back.

And rocks hurt. Bad.

Instead, I try to learn from the mistakes of others, in order to limit my own. For example:


Note To Self: Should I ever be a high-wire-walkin' rock and roller shown the door while in my prime, yet be invited back to the party years later by nostalgic fans willing to forgive, it's not a great idea to cancel gigs 'cause some city has an ordinance against drinking alcohol on stage. Drink before and after, but play the gig.







Note To Self: If the car isn't mine, don't take it. If the car isn't mine, don't take it. If the car isn't mine, don't take it. If the car isn't mine, don't take it.



(No matter how good an idea it seems at the time.)





Note To Self: No matter how cute any girlfriend-of-the-future may be: if, during our first date, she tells me she was once married for 55 hours before divorcing, pay for the drinks and walk away.

Fast.






Note To Self: Should I ever find myself on the run from the police (you never know, it could happen), keep moving forward, and stay in open places as much as possible. Do not--I repeat, do not!--barricade myself in a D-list motel chain room that has poor ventilation and no possibility for escape.

Palance Would Have Wanted It This Way

Sad News: He made me laugh hard when he co-starred in City Slickers, and scared me in a whole bunch of poorly made, low-budget thrillers that I saw on late-night TV when I was a kid. And his push-ups at the Oscars was classic TV.

Jack Palance died today of natural causes, at age 87.



My favorite Jack Palance quote: "Most of the stuff I do is garbage." If only we all could be so honest.

(By the way, my grandma-in-law may be right...)





Spidey news: The newest Spider-Man 3 trailer looks pretty cool. You can check it out here.






It's A Small World News: LONDON (AFP) - A man was rushed to hospital in Britain with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom, an ambulance service spokesman said.


A spokesman for the North East ambulance service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding."

He is now recovering in a Sunderland hospital after sustaining internal injuries including a scorched colon.

Ed Bradley

I'm saddened to learn of the death of Ed Bradley,65, from leukemia.


During his 26 years on 60 Minutes, Bradley carried out his work with passion and intelligence. I suspected Bradley could get tough if needed, but he was always professional on air. And passionate. That he loved learning about people and about life was obvious.


I had my ear pierced after Bradley did his, several years ago. At the time I recall thinking that if Ed Bradley could pull it off in the buttoned-down meeting rooms of CBS, no one should question my silly little anti-establishment statement.

TV journalism was better because of him. He will be missed.

Borat

Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

You know that feeling.

The one you get on rare occasions when you feel as though you've just witnessed something special. The couple of times you just knew you were in the presence of greatness. Remember?

(I've never really had that feeling, but I've had a couple of friends who've described it to me.)

But, I think I may have experienced it while watching Borat. The Marquee Cinema where I saw the film was standing room only; the only time I can recall seeing a film where movie-goers happily stood in the aisle and munched popcorn while watching a flick. Many people left the theater talking about how special this comedy is, and how hard it made them laugh. And laugh we did...While walking to my car I realized my jaws ached from excessive laughing.

The film is plain brilliant.

Borat comes to America with a film crew to record American culture, hoping the information will help his native Kazakhstan progress past it's current primitive state. Shortly after Borat arrives, he sees an episode of Baywatch, and falls head-over-heels in love with Pamela Sue Anderson. He treks across country to California to meet and wed Anderson. During the trip Borat meets lots of interesting folk, and has several outlandish comedic adventures. Filmed in documentary style, most of the people and situations are real. And that's the beauty of the film.

Borat is politically incorrect, but not in a mean-spirited way. In fact, I think the film is more a satire of how we Americans (and folks immigrating to America) establish our goals, dreams and beliefs about others based on incorrect presumptions and over-generalized ideals. There has been a lot of press over whether Borat promotes anti-Semitism or racism. I don't think it does. Borat is racist and a bigot, but his beliefs are based in ignorance and inexperience. And the movie makes it clear that the joke is on him--we aren't laughing at his jokes about Jews, we are laughing at his ignorance.

This is a special movie that people will be talking about for a long time. Check it out soon.

New We Are Marshall Poster

The We Are Marshall poster was recently released. (Thanks for the heads-up goes to my mother-in-law, who monitors All-Things-McConaughey.)

I think it captures well the movie's premise: that the community and the university combined to build themselves back from the ashes of that devastating tragedy. In it, Coach Jack Lengyl stands on the mountain where the plane crashed, looking down over the city and the university.

It's emotional, and inspiring. Click on it for a close-up view.

Jack Bauer Would Not Give Me A Ticket

The trailer for the sixth season (Day 6) of 24 looks remarkable. To me, this show gets better each year. Check out these highlights , and tell me it ain't the best show on television.