My Top Five: Favorite Westerns

I used to love me some westerns.

Saturday night in 1979, all I needed was some buttered hot-air-popped popcorn, a western flick on a newfangled video cassette (remember Betamax?) and a comfortable Lazy Boy in front of the tube. Sure, a year or so later the ladies would leapfrog westerns on my list of priorities, but in the late 70s the cowboys and I were tight.

Don't ever doubt the term geek when it's used to describe me!

Maybe it was the simplicity of westerns that made them interesting to the teen-aged me. More likely, though, I liked them because the flicks were something I could share with my Dad. We struggled to find commonalities, Dad and me. Enjoying westerns was one item on our small list.

Here's my Top 5 List Of Favorite Westerns:

The Cowboys: (1972) I wanted to be on that cattle drive with A. Martinez and The Duke. Eating beans and beef, sleeping under the stars and driving the herd.

Until Wayne's character, Wil Anderson, was killed that is. I recall thinking how afraid I would be, alone in the middle of nowhere without an adult around for protection. Suddenly, the wide open range was a pretty frightening place.

Blazing Saddles: (1974) Mel Brook's classic really pulled a Number 6 on me. To this day, dialogue from Saddles will pop into my head like a bad ad jingle.

Except, the Saddles lines don't annoy me. They make me laugh.

Little Big Man: (1970) Dustin Hoffman made his reputation as a brilliant actor early in his career with films like Little Big Man. The black comedy about a young boy raised into adulthood by the Cheyenne Nation pointed out the often dramatic differences in culture between White and Native Americans.

The Contrary--played by Cal Bellini--was my favorite character in the flick.

The Shakiest Gun In The West: (1968) I have no idea why, but I love this Don Knotts western! It's formulaic, predictable and uses the same comedy bit--his wife is the sharpshooter, not Knotts--over and over.

But damn, this movie makes me laugh. Hard.

Unforgiven: (1992). Unforgiven is so good, it probably shouldn't be lumped into any particular genre of movie. The Clint Eastood flick--he starred and directed--is a look at the effects of violence on individuals and on society. Eastwood is great as the anti-hero William Munny. Gene Hackman and Morgan Freeman turn in career highlight performances.

Yeah, I didn't see it with my Dad. But it's my all-time favorite western.

Peyton Manning's United Way Spoof

I'm no fan of Peyton Manning.

I mean, I admire the guy for what he's accomplished with football, but I'm not a fan. Always thought he was too stiff, a bit too vanilla.

This SNL skit proved me wrong. It's one of the funniest things I've seen in months.

The Night Listener

I've said it before, Robin William in the right role is magic.


One Hour Photo?

Magic.





RV?

Well, we all know there is no such thing as magic...


His performance in The Night Listener is somewhere in between those flicks on the Is This A Magical Performance? continuum.

Williams plays Gabriel Noone, a nationally syndicated late-night radio host who begins a telephone friendship with Pete Logand, played wonderfully by the most talented of the Culkins, Rory. Pete weaves a story for Noone that is complex and compelling about his tragic childhood, his terminal illness and his loving foster mother, Donna. Noone becomes a bit fixated on the kid and his story. He's going through his own personal crisis, you see, and being needed by the kid is highly motivating.

Intoxicating, even.

Noone ultimately abandons reason and travels to Wisconsin to visit Pete in person. What Noone discovers there is the foundation for what producers hoped would be a psychological thriller. They succeeded in part:

It is disturbing, and it is dark. It's even a bit Hitchcock-ian.

It's just not thrilling.



The Night Listener is a better-than-average flick. The acting is above par--co-star Toni Collettee is close to brilliant in her role--and the dialogue is well written. But, the story itself lacks something.

It lacks magic.

Calvert DeForest

Calvert DeForest--known as Larry "Bud" Melman to fans of the old-school David Letterman show--died Monday at the age of 85.



Back in the day, Letterman was considered edgy and innovative. In fact, most modern late night comedy shows owe a great debt to Letterman; much of the style and many of the running bits used today originated on the old Late Night With David Letterman show. One of the things Dave did best, though, was find talent and comedy in every day people.



DeForest, who Letterman discovered, was a recurring character on the show. He made me laugh some nights until my sides ached. He wasn't a great actor, but there was something magical about him that made him fun to watch. Letterman seemed to love him.

So did I.

Here's why:

Whatever Happened To...Heather DeLoach

In the mid-90s, the band Blind Melon blended classic rock sounds with folk and pop influences to produce a Hippie Rock vibe that I really liked. Despite lead singer Shannon Hoon's terrific vocals and rock star presence, though, sales for the band's self-titled first album was disappointing. 

Until 9-year-old Heather DeLoach put on that damn bee costume.

 

DeLoach went on to work as an actress, performing small parts in I'll Do Anything, Tracy Takes On and ER. But the effect DeLoach had on the longevity of Blind Melon (Hoon died of a drug overdose in 1995, effectively dismantling the group) is immeasurable. To this point, The Bee Girl has been her most important role.

If you haven't seen the video in a few years, click "play," sit back and let Heather DeLoach and Blind Melon make you smile.

What Are They Thinking?

In addition to big-time recognition for a specific role, an Academy Award win in one of the Best Acting categories generally gives the winner tremendous career options.

Scripts pour in.

Producers beg Oscar recipients to be in their flicks, for the name recognition alone.

Some actors have used this newly acquired clout to enable them to do very good, very interesting work. Think Hilary Swank, for example. She worked as mostly an anonymous actor for years before getting the gold statue for Boys Don't Cry in 1999.

That one win catapulted her into a completely different level of available roles and possibilities.

But, there are lots of artists who miss out on the career path that Oscar can provide. Actors that make poor choices with their new-found Hollywood-cred.

Here's my list of Academy Award winners whose careers have devolved, artistically at least, since their red carpet win:

What Are They Thinking?

Cuba Gooding, Jr: Despite winning the Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, the Jerry McGuire "Show me the money!" guy's career flopped soon after his acceptance speech.

After a solid follow-up role in As Good As It Gets, Gooding's career has devolved into movies that go straight to DVD (End Game) and flicks of no real relevance.

Anyone remember Snow Dogs?

Jaimee Foxx: Foxx followed up an incredible supporting role in Collateral with an Academy Award winning lead in Ray.

Next up?

Stealth.

I hope that title isn't a harbinger of things to come.



Gwyneth Paltrow: I thought she stole the Oscar win for Shakespeare In Love. Since then, she's done nothing really to earn my respect.

Duets, with Huey Lewis? The best part of that movie was a karaoke-singin' Paul Giamatti. And Shallow Hal? C'mon...


Name one great role she's had since 1999.


Nicolas Cage: I'm such a fan of Cage's work that it's painful for me to add him to this list. But, I keep waiting for something as good as Leaving Las Vegas.



Dude, when you show us the goods like to you did in Vegas, The Rock, Windtalkers and Ghost Rider just seem third rate.

Somebody might put out an SOS.

The Descent

The Descent, written and directed by Neil Marshall, is a British horror flick that had a wide theatrical release in 2005, including showings in America. The film is typical horror fare: A group of six adventurous women meet periodically to engage in risky and challenging activities, like rock climbing and white water rafting. The adventure depicted in this film--a spelunking expedition in a newly discovered cave in the Appalachian Mountain range--goes horribly wrong with for all the expected reasons.

A cave-in, that cuts off access to the outside world.

Hysteria among some of the group, which results in injury or death.

Large human-like bat creatures that live deep in the cave, and which hunt these women as they try to escape the cave.

Not your cup of tea? Mine either, really. Except for this one major twist:

One of the women in the group suffers an unexpected tragedy in the first few minutes of the film which changes her forever. An underlying presumption as the movie unfolds--it's almost a nagging suspicion more than a presumption, because there are no real clues to this--is that there are no real bat-like monsters at all, and the female lead character (played by Shauna Macdonald) is really behind the goings-on.

Marshall hints at this in several interviews.

Regardless of that plot twist, The Descent isn't a great movie. It's formula is pretty tired, the monsters are stereotypical and the acting is average at best.

The DVD issued in America contains an alternative ending that was originally trimmed to make the audience feel more hopeful about the outcome. The alternate ending, for me, is one of the weakest portions of the flick.

Doin' It For Jerry

I still feel kinda bad. No sooner then Jackie and I sign off as guests on the Jerry Waters Radio show, but poor Jerry gets the boot from Bristol Broadcasting.

Were we to blame? I'm not certain, but we surely didn't help.

Glenn Beck can get bent! Local radio is where it's at.

Anyway, Jerry's developing his message board into a "blog on steroids." Check it out at this link.

(Maybe the site can be set up to allow donations...)

A Sense Of Community

I'm excited to mention that Jackie (from Saved By The Torso) and Scarlet (from Scarlet Tanager) have created a permanent home for the West Virginia Bloggers Message Board.

I encourage everyone to visit the site. And those of you interested in further developing a board that values community and state-wide relationships: register as members!

Really, join up.

It'll be fun to see how the board evolves.

Flashback! Bad Movies That Haunt Me: Boxing Helena

I was feeling sorta amorous one Friday evening in 1993, and found myself at the local video store looking through that section.

Not the Triple-X section located near the back and closed off by some mismatched curtains. Nope, the hardcore stuff is for Saturday night!

I said this was a Friday.

The section of videos through which I was browsing housed the sensual, artsy flicks. The kind Mrs. Film Geek digs. Which makes me dig them, too.


I stumbled upon one that looked interesting. I hadn't heard much buzz about it, but the cover seemed, well, sensual.

The title, Boxing Helena, was unusual. But, I figured, artsy flicks are quirky. A nearly naked chick in a rectangle-shaped box is still a nearly naked chick.

I decided I'd make it work.

I dimmed the lights, snuggled up close on the love seat and hit "play." The mood was set perfectly. Now, all that remained was for Boxing Helena to work her mojo.

There's something off-putting about a film in which an obsessed surgeon keeps a woman in his home and systematically amputates her legs and her arms. It's a deal breaker when the imprisoned and mutilated woman later returns his affection, as if what's been done to her was simply an annoyance she can forgive.

Boxing Helena...so bad, I didn't need a cold shower.

I'm still haunted by it.