Date Night

"Promise me we won't balance out the room when we get old."

She said it while we cuddled on the love seat, watching some movie on VHS and sharing a Pepsi. We wore out that love seat while watching a lotta flicks. And for years, I kept my promise; we weren't goofy-eyed-in-love all the time, but we enjoyed being next to each other. We never sat too far apart.

"Never. That will never be us."

Slowly, and without even realizing it, that became us. I'd come home tired from work, wrestle with the kids then hit the couch for some R & R. She'd stay on the love seat, several feet away. She worked from home, so she was always at the office. I'd crash, she'd work.

Days turned into years.

The plot of Date Night was thin, but Steve Carell and Tina Fey were funny and the jokes made me guffaw. But I saw something of my own life in the movie: the routine, the lack of spontaneity, the feeling of growing old and settling in. It -- along with a really hot Mark Wahlberg--was all there.

All too familiar.

Somehow, that's gotta change. My wife deserves better.

And so do I.

Cracked Shakes Up Comics

The coolest mag on Earth points out the 5 Most Unintentionally Offensive Comic Book Characters.

See the list here.

Kick-Ass

Much was made over Roger Ebert's rant on Kick-Ass, particularly his distaste for the excessive violence carried out by Hit Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz), and her father, Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage). That Moretz, who seems all of eleven years old, regularly uses profanity that make grown men blush likely played a role in Ebert's dislike for the film, too.

But I think Ebert's age is showing in his opinion on this film.

Kick-Ass serves as a voice for American teens who find themselves becoming more isolated from the previous generation, and more apathetic as a result. They search for life meaning in the post-Baby Boom era, and what they're finding looks and feels different than it did to those of us over the age of 20. Dave Lizewski (played wonderfully by Aaron Johnson) invents Kick-Ass because he's tired of feeling helpless and insecure about his future. He's tired of the disconnect that exists in his community. Dave just wants to make a difference.

When I felt that way back in the 80s, I helped pick up litter on the Interstate. Kids in this movie fight crime and kill bad guys. It's almost the same thing.


Maybe Ebert forgets what's it like to be a kid who wants to do more . . . more with his life, more for his community, more to help find a girlfriend. But I know Ebert doesn't understand what it's like to be a kid who wants to do more in the year 2010.

It's a different generation, Pops. You gotta move over.

Avatar

Friday, 10:00pm

Mrs. Film Geek: "Hey, wanna watch Avatar? Even though this bonus footage version is 185 minutes long, we have the time, huh? We'll sleep in tomorrow."

Me: "Sure, turn the crank on the DVD player and I'll get the popcorn."

Friday, 10:20pm

Me: "Wow, the visuals in this flick are incredible, eh? I'm not sure I've ever seen anything like it. And the story is sort of interesting."

Mrs. Film Geek: "Yeah, the story's OK. But that is some vivid blue."

Friday, 11:15pm

Me: "I'm gonna go get more popcorn. Need anything?"

Mrs. Film Geek: "Nope. But you want me to pause it until you get back?"

Me: "Nah, I'll catch up when I get back. The story's not that hard to follow."

Saturday: 12:10am

Me: "Jesus, how long can this movie go on? We get it! We get the analogies and the metaphors. Wrap this baby up!"

Saturday, 12:25am

Mrs. Film Geek: : "Hey, turn on your side a bit, you're snoring is keeping me from hearing the dialogue."

Me: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz..."

On Dehumanization, Tape And Isolation

According to news reports an employee of ResCare, one of the largests behavioral health centers in West Virginia, recently taped together the hands of a client for whom he was responsible and left her in his car while he spent an extended amount of time elsewhere. Brandon Watts, the ResCare employee, said he did it because she often became combative while riding in the car with him.

Ya think?

If it's true she was sometimes aggressive in the car, it may be that she knew pretty well what to expect when Watts said "let's go for a ride." I doubt one raises to this level of abuse without some stepping stones of neglect along the way. Riding in the car with Watts --or perhaps spending time with him in general--probably wasn't that much fun for the woman.

Too often in our society we're guilty of dehumanizing others. We walk past people who are homeless without notice, or dismiss individuals with disability. We tend to ignore, patronize, avoid or abuse folks who are different, and we do it for the most selfish of reasons. We see them as less than . . . Less than we are. Less than human.

I won't be surprised if Brandon Watts taped the woman and left her in his car so he could take a nap or play a video game.

Because to people like Watts, those things are more important than a person with a disability.

Things I Just Don't Understand: Couples Sitting Side-By-Side While Eating In Public

Once in a while at McDonald's, or even at more upscale dining like Long John Silver's, I see couples sitting side-by-side in a booth. Usually that alone gives me the creeps. Sitting across from one another promotes a face-to-face conversation.

When the couple doesn't talk, however--they just sit quietly, eating, side-by-side--I am perplexed by the behavior. It's too simple to say they're madly in love, and probably too big a stretch to say one of the couple is controlling.

Help me understand!

The Blind Slide

I saw a couple of blockbuster flicks (like Alice In Wonderland) and several Academy Award nominated movies (like Crazy Heart) during my Bret Farve-like retirement from The Film Geek. Johnny Depp was fun as The Mad Hatter, and Jeff Bridges earned the Oscar he won for his turn as Bad Blake.

The Blind Side, which was nominated for an Academy Award and for which Sandra Bullock won an Oscar, doesn't belong in the same discussion.

Sure, I guess The Blind Side is an inspirational story. But there were several problems I had with the movie. The production value reminded me of a Lifetime movie, while the story-line smacked of exploitation. Leigh Ann Touhy wasn't likable, Tim McGraw (as her husband) was bland and Quinton Aaron, who played Big Mike, seemed to have no real range.

As usual, the real-life story is much better than the flick.

There Is Superstition

I never grow tired of this conversation, which just happened to me again at a lunch counter.

Clerk:"You're total is, ahem, . . .uh, [clears throat] $6.66."

Me: "Thanks." [Hands her a ten dollar bill]

Clerk: "If you don't want anything else, I'll take the tax off. It will make it a different total."

Me: "Why?"

Clerk: "You know ... The Number."

Me: "Nah, thanks anyway. I'll pay the full amount."

Clerk: " What if I pay the tax myself?"

Me: "Thanks anyway. I'll pay the total."

Clerk: "Ohhh-kay . . ."

She said it as if she meant: "It's your funeral." I didn't stick around long enough to ask her about what she thought of health care reform.

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid

Dear Maddisen, Griffyn and Jaden:

What a great time I had watching Diary Of A Wimpy Kid with you three! While I've never kept a diary, I've sure felt wimpy during several stages of my life. I'm betting you have too, or that you will.

Soon.

It's part of the human condition, and it happens to everyone. Trust me. And while you can't escape it, you can prepare for how you'll react to it. You can learn the skills now that will get you through those periods of insecurity.

Lesson #1: Although it's important to express your individuality, it's best that you never show your "secret freckle" to anyone. Just sayin'.

Although Greg Heffley is the lead character in Diary, he's not really the guy to serve as a role model for how best to get through the battlefield called Middle School. Nope, Greg is selfish, and uses people to further his own ambition. He's the guy you want to avoid in Middle School; the guy you don't want to become as an adult. He's always looking for the next back to step on, the next spotlight he can step into. Even when he figures it all out in the end, you sorta guess his epiphany will be short lived. He'll embrace the dark side of adolescence again, just you wait and see.

Rowley, on the other hand, is the guy to whom you wanna pay attention. Greg's second banana is genuine, sincerely interested in others and secure in how he sees the world. It doesn't matter to Rowley that he's a side-kick; he's more interested in the experience he's having, and the relationships he's forming. His ambitions are focused more on making each day fun and interesting, for himself and for those he loves.

Yep, Rowley understands the secret that most middle-school age kids don't: Life's about the moment, and the happiness that comes with knowing who you are in that moment.

I'm gonna buy this movie for ya, kids, because I want you to watch it over and over again. Enjoy it for the entertainment value, but appreciate it for the life lesson it gives, too. It's a powerful lesson.

By the way: Jaden has the Cheese Touch!!!!

Dad

Roger Ebert Scared My Kids With His Old-Man Rant About Kick-Ass!

Just walking by the poster to get to another flick frightened them nearly to death!