Although I recently took on a new job, I'm open to new possibilities. New options, and new challenges. And I'm always open to opportunities that are more exciting than the gig I've been doing for 22 years.
Maybe you know the feeling of wanting a bit more. Getting yourself into a position to grab that brass ring. Maybe even--and I'm reluctant to say this, considering my level of shyness--once in a while, have the chance to be the center of attention. That opportunity revealed itself to me yesterday, and I've considered it obsessively since.
I'm going to apply to replace Greg, the Yellow-Shirt-ed-Wiggle who is leaving the group.
Now, I know you're thinking it's a long shot for me to get an interview, much less become a member of the group. But, I've made a list of the reasons I know I can do it.
Here it is: My Top 10 Reasons I Should Be The Yellow-Shirt-ed Wiggle
10: It's obvious to me that The Wiggles have lost a bit of their edge as they've gained popularity and success. To remain relevant, they have to get back some of what they've lost as they've become mainstream. As the Yellow-Shirt-ed Guy, I'll bringsexyback to The Wiggles.
9. Red Shirt, Blue Shirt and Purple Shirt are players. You can see it when they work a concert, scanning the crowd for Moms eager to hook up after the show. As the happily married Yellow Shirt-ed Wiggle, I could serve as their Wing Man, helping funnel all the thirty-something Soccer Mom's to the groupie lounge.
8. I ain't scared of no dingos.
7. As a spelling-challenged person with few ingrained spelling rules, I'd have less trouble than the average American changing my writing to include words like: "humour," "colour" and "behaviour."
6. I don't particularly like kids other than my own, so I wouldn't get emotionally attached to the audience. Entertainers have to keep that professional distance to stay creative. Greg, the former Yellow-Shirt-ed Wiggle forgot that, and look where it got him.
5. I like dressing up as a pirate. [Note to self: Get Mrs. Film Geek to write a reference for me on this point.]
4. My dancing style has already been described by many as "the wiggle."
3. Because I have two kids under the age of 6, I already know most lyrics of The Wiggles' songs. I get stuck on the chorus of "Hot Potato, Hot Potato" sometimes, but with practice I can overcome that.
2. I already understand and appreciate Australian-rules football.
1. I'm committed to bringing back the 5th Wiggle, Phillip Wilcher, and healing the wounds that resulted from that initial break-up.
There you have it, my main reasons for believing I can do this. Wonder how much it cost to FedEx to Australia...?