If only I had a pet... But, there's still hope.
Although not having a pet keeps me out of that specific part of the audition, I very well could have the skills necessary to be successful in landing a spot on the Stupid Human segment of the show. (At least that's what Mrs. Film Geek tells me.) With her encouragement, I've come up with a list of personal reasons that will certainly ramp up the "wow" factor for the Late Night judges.
Reasons I
1. I continue to drive my Ford Taurus, even though the "check engine soon" light has been on, constantly, since March, 2003;
2. I sat through two-thirds of Basic Instinct 2;
3. "I don't understand why you buy that rap shit. Rap's a fad, and it's gonna die soon, man. Just like disco." ~Me to my younger--and hipper-- brother. Fall, 1982;
4. At age 42, I just discovered that not everyone can fart the opening drum beat of Queen's "We Will Rock You" on command, and at will. And I continue to find that odd...;
5. "How much for that file folder? It's my wife's birthday, and I wanna get her something special!" ~Me to the Assistant Manager of The Office Depot. June 14, 2006.
6 comments:
Not only did you buy stationary for a "special" birthday gift...but you actually were questioning the price of it as well?? You were willing to buy a file folder, but not one of those state-of-the-art fancy expensive ones :-p
Hey! That file folder was state-of-the-art.
(And I got a good deal.)
that was one fine looking letter openers you got her too! when was it? anniversary or graduation?
"4. At age 42, I just discovered that not everyone can fart the opening drum beat of Queen's "We Will Rock You" on command, and at will? And I continue to find that odd...;"
ROFLMAO!!! Oh god -- get me a towel, I've piddled! LOL
Actually, I heard from this mechanic I used to work with at a warehouse that car manufacturers actually set that "check engine" light to go off after a certain period of time so the dealership can get more of your money.
I don't know if there's any truth to any of that, but I drove my old Ford Escort for about five years with that warning on.
:-)
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